Changing To Get What We Want

How to overcome this hardness of change?

Through all external means to find the one thing that we are longing for all our lives.
Yet, the search often ends up futile and left us drained & empty.
“Happiness comes from within.” said the wise ones.
However, the majority of us are still clueless about it truly meant.

Through all external means to find the one thing that we are longing for all our lives.
Yet, the search often ends up futile and left us drained & empty.
“Happiness comes from within.” said the wise ones.
However, the majority of us are still clueless about it truly meant.

The tricky part is that the expression of happiness varies from people to people.
Some of us may feel that the possession of material items will make us happy while some of the others may feel that physical experiences are those which will make us happy.

Despite that, it is easy to neglect that what we feel comes from within us and casually mistake that what we feel comes from the external world.
If we investigate ourselves carefully, we may notice that it is our thoughts about certain events that are triggering a certain chemical reaction within ourselves that makes us feel certain kinds of emotions; happy, sad, etc..

When we think positively of an act or event, we feel light and joyful; when we think negatively of an act or event, we feel heavy and gloomy. For instance; a simple act of opening a door is neutral if we think nothing about the consequences of it.

However, when we think that the opening the door is going to hurt somebody when we open it, we may become slightly scared. On the contradictory, if we think that opening the door allows us to leave the house to mingle with our friends, we may become quite delighted. Based on this instance, it may just be a matter of how we choose to perceive the act or event that gives us the feeling that we desire.

Even though it is easy to state that all we have to do is to think positively about any events and we will feel free & happy for the rest of our lives, it is obviously not the case which we can all agree on. In my opinion, survival is most probably the first thing that sparks off in the mind of the living when approaching life; be it a cockroach, a tree, or a human.

Therefore, purposefully or not, we have trained our minds to determine and prevent all possible dangers first before going for the things we want. At the same time, creating fears unintentionally when thoughts of potential dangers pop out in the mind. Hence, to shift our thoughts out of the negative zone can be quite a hassle as it is as if going against our nature.

Be it going against mountains & valleys or not, hopeless is definitely not something that we are going to treat this as. Obviously, many have made themselves excellent examples of being capable of shifting their mind out of the negative zone constantly and have created amazing lives for themselves, while others are still working on it.

Whatsoever, as all of us seem to be regularly striving for improvement, all of us may already know this deep within us. If it is so, does that mean that what we are looking for may just be the control to make that little shift for us to feel the way we wanted?

The desire for control often stems from the place of insecurity due to the fear-based belief. When we think that things are supposed to have certain results, we will want to control all conditions to make the desired results happen in order to prevent other outcomes from occurring. This act itself may just be the reason as to why we get stuck in the negative zone.

As to get a different outcome from a specific act, we will need to change the act itself. For example; if we add 1 to 1, we will always get 2 no matter how many times we do the addition of 1 to 1. If we want to change the outcome we need to either change the number base or add other numbers together instead of only adding two 1s.

Despite wanting to change, our fears of unexpected dangers get in the way, which causes us to end up repeating the same act over and over again every time we attempt to change. In other words, when we attempt for a change of an act about an event, our fear of being unprepared for the worst pushes us into thinking about possible dangerous outcomes that may come from the new act; and then discourages us from the change. So, we end up acting the same way that we usually do.

For the change to be successful, there are multiple ways to make it happen. All of which requires a plan for change; when we have a plan, we gain a sense of security to execute the change. Even though unpredictable events may happen along the way, the chances of success have already increased due to the decision & action to plan.

One simple plan can be to simply go with the flow of the events. Going with the flow means to be an observer of the event and let the event carry out the way it will, such that the attention & energy is focused on observing whatever that is happening and not on the reacting. Observation of the event is a way to see from a bigger picture or higher viewpoint than from being in the participant seat; just as looking at a city from a hilltop gives a clearer idea of how a city is structured than trying to look at the city while staying inside the city.

This clearer perspective than before will provide a better understanding of the irrational fears than we used to such that those are identified and can be removed. Also, to be able to just observe the event is already a successful change from the usual way of reacting.

Although change is a constant factor in our lives, certain undesirable events keep reoccurring and make us feel victimized by them. However, knowing that we feel victimized, we can start planning to change how we feel towards the event and to change how we can react to it in a better way than before. Despite the challenges that we may face during the change, if we just take it one step at a time, we will definitely get closer to the beautiful state that we desire to be than before.
And it will all start from a decision & an action.




Exploring different ways of expressions: Instagram:

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